Lovers' Eyes
by future-fangirl
Summary: "This was goodbye. This was desperate and painful and achingly sad." Jessica was pregnant, Wyatt was leaving and this was the last goodbye. Alternative canon from 2.09.


Lord forget all of my sins

Or let me die where I lie

Beneath the curse of my lovers' eyes

Lovers' Eyes by Mumford and Sons

"We're good?" He questioned.

"We're good." She confirmed. But it was a lie. She'd gotten all too good at lying in the last three weeks. At smiling when everything in her wanted to break apart. She'd gotten good at pushing him towards Jessica despite the desire to pull him in. To take up the slight hints that he wanted more with her. That was now all over. Jessica was pregnant. Wyatt was leaving. She'd never see him again. The pain in her heart seemed a physical thing. She could fairly see her own heart breaking.

Wyatt started to brush past her but she reached out. Almost forced him to turn around and face her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her face against his shoulder. For a second he hesitated and then his arms went around her waist. Held her closer as she felt him let out an exhale. For one delicious moment, they were together once again. Jessica fell away. All the ways he'd hurt her no longer mattered. She glanced up knowing somehow it was dangerous and yet unable to resist it.

His eyes fixed on hers and it was like taking a drink of water after wandering in the desert. She knew that was a terrible analogy but it felt just like it. It had been so long since they could look at each other freely. Since that moment by the fan. Their gazes locked together for a long moment. Lucy almost pulled away. She should move. She had to move because she knew that heated stare. It had been fixed on her before. She knew what was coming.

It would have been easier to claim she didn't know. That she didn't want this to happen. To blame him. But that would be a lie. She wasn't sure who moved first. Was it him? Or her? Or had they moved together like two magnets let loose. The next instant they were kissing and it was so different from Hollywoodland. That had been a beginning. A glorious uncertain beginning but a beginning no less. This was goodbye. This was desperate and painful and achingly sad. She felt a tear slid down her cheeks as his tongue slid over hers. Lucy felt his hand cradling the back of her neck tremble. This was wrong…so wrong…and yet she couldn't figure out why. Perhaps it wasn't so very wrong. Because he was leaving. Probably in the morning. And this was goodbye.

She wished it'd go on forever. But they both had to breathe. He pulled away panting slightly. And then they were looking at each other again. Lucy tried to take in another breath to ease the ache in her chest. And the realization of what happened seemed to strike them both at the same moment. She moved back and looked into his eyes. Saw the guilt and pain in his eyes. What kind of person kissed another woman's husband when she was pregnant? What kind of person took advantage of that?

"I'm sorry." He whispered. "I shouldn't have…"

Lucy shook her head. The tears were falling fast now, like raindrops in the middle of a winter shower. "It was my fault. I just…goodbye Wyatt."

He didn't say it back. Lucy didn't glance back. She couldn't. Because if she did she might just break down completely. Run into his arms and disgrace herself by trying to get him to stay. Be everything she wasn't. At least she shouldn't be. She rushed towards the bathroom and locked herself inside. Lucy pressed her hands to her dripping face. Oh god, what had she done? She ought to feel guilty. She ought to. And she did. But she knew in that moment she'd do it again. And that…that was the worst.

xxxxx

Neither of them saw the shadowy figure watching them from the hall. They didn't see her face contort with rage before she silently turned back to her room. Jessica Logan resolved first to kill him. Then she decided to do something else. Make him fall. Make Lucy Preston hate him. And make him watch her fall into bed with someone else. Make him feel the same pain and jealousy she experienced. He deserved it. And Lucy…well she'd get her punishment. Emma and Jessica would make sure of it.

xxxxx

Twenty-four hours later Lucy was sitting on the floor by the infamous fan as Wyatt sat down beside her. Confessed his love for her. Lucy didn't know what to think. Had it all been a game? Had they ever really loved each other or had they just thought they had? But regardless he wasn't leaving. She wasn't sure if she was happy or sad. Her heart felt too battered for thinking. Did it matter? His presence hurt her. Made every single nerve in her body light up, mostly painfully now.

Then their future selves showed up from five years in the future. They promised to bring Rufus back. Lucy paused in front of her future self. "Do you feel guilty about that night?" She asked knowing that she would know exactly what she was referring to.

"Yes, I do. But somehow…it got us here. Didn't it?" The other self confessed.

"Did it? Because I don't feel like it?" Lucy confessed.

"It's happening. Just give it time." Her other self replied.

Lucy knew then that despite the pain in her heart and the lack of trust somehow, someway Wyatt Logan would find his way back into her heart. He hadn't lost her yet. Just like she hadn't lost him yet.

 **Author's Note: I got the idea of this fic from the interview with Matt which said that he actually considered inserting a kiss into the scene where Lyatt hugged at the end of 2.09. It sure looked like they'd kiss in this scene in the promos. I hesitated on posting this because I never want to give the impression I condone cheating. It seems a trifle out of character but once again I think it's a desperate goodbye. Who knows what you'd do in that instance? This scene is my favorite for so many reasons. Lucy reaches out and offers comfort he really doesn't deserve. It shows her love so strongly.**


End file.
